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New Information on Sex Addiction

This past month I attended the SASH conference (Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health) in San Diego.  The list of professional presenters and topics these professionals lectured on were quite impressive.  Presenters included such industry standouts in the field of Sexual Compulsivity, Addiction, and Trauma included:  Dr. Patrick Carnes, Alex Katehakis, Rob Weiss, Terry Real, Dr. Janina Fisher, and Kelly McDaniel.  There is exciting research coming out of a field which is working together to help those in need of healing from this addiction.  I was grateful to spend time with those in the industry on the frontline of research at a national level. These clinicians and researchers help further knowledge, understanding, and help alleviate the pain and symptoms of those who struggle.

Recovery, Sobriety, and the Art of Endurance Training

“In my preparation for the race I am focusing on what I can influence for top performance and letting the actual result of the race come as it will."    -- Ruthie Matthes

I spend a lot of time training for events in my life both personally and professionally.  I am a goal oriented person.  I attribute much of the achieved success I have aimed for in my life to goal setting and surrounding myself with a supportive network to achieve those goals.   I have thought how similar that is to those I see who are successful in their recovery processes from addiction.  Nowhere in my life is that training more evident than in the endurance sports I engage in and the circle of endurance athletes I am privileged to observe and hang with.

Mastery of Fear and Finding Balance in Recovery

Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”

- Mohandas Karamchand (Mahatma) Gandhi

Do you remember that first time you tried to ride a two-wheel bike?  Do you remember feelings of fear or excitement?  Do you remember being determined or feeling relegated to defeat before even getting the courage to lift your feet from the ground?  As a cyclist I love the feeling of free-wheeling freedom on my bike, but it wasn’t always that way!  I recently taught my daughter to ride her two-wheel bike and I was reminded of how much trust, skill, and the ability to work through fear was involved in gaining the free-wheeling feeling I love so much.

The Gift of Gratitude in Sex Addiction Recovery

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it."   - William Arthur Ward

theconfidentmom.com

The marriage impacted by sex addiction is in turmoil for quite some time post-discovery of the addiction.  The betrayal of sex addiction is like no other.  The marriage impacted by addiction is filled with resentment, bitterness, and reactivity.  The addict holds resentment, and even perhaps used those resentments, to fuel the acting-out in the addiction cycle.  In beginning recovery, the partner holds resentments and often feels justified to emotionally brow-beat their sex-addicted partners with reminders of how horrible their actions were.  There is fear their hurts will remain unacknowledged.