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Nina Laltrello's blog


Sex Addiction and Addiction Interaction

Remember the carnival game “Whac-a-Mole”?  Moles would pop up through a hole and the object of the game was to force individual moles back into their hole with a mallet.  The goal is to make them disappear as fast as possible when they rear their heads.  Addiction interaction is like the “Whac-a-mole” game. 

 

I had my chemical addiction credentials for over a decade before receiving my Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) credentials.  For years I noticed the phenomenon as one would get sober from alcohol or drugs, other behaviors might begin to creep in as problematic or new focus in an unhealthy, unbalanced, way. I would see clients cease drinking and begin shopping to excess, or beyond one’s means. Men would stop drinking, but with new renewed clarity and focus, begin work to excess. This work drive would become a detriment to family obligations and life balance.  Even more, I would notice within marriages where addiction had been present, one spouse would shop to excess and the other spouse would feel like they were obligated to keep up with the debt forcing unhealthy work escalations in response.

The Case of Anthony Wiener (Part 2): Why Does His Wife Stay?

As I listened to CNN cover the aspects of the Anthony Wiener story, two questions stuck with me from the various reports:

1.    Is Sexting Cheating?

2.    Why does his wife stay?

This post will explore the second question: “Why does his wife stay?”

(See the previous post: The Case of Anthony Wiener – Part 1 for “Is Sexting Cheating?”)

Anthony Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, has come out in public statements maintaining that she forgives her husband and chooses to stay by his side.  csmonitorThere is much discussion about the shocking reports that he is doing his sexting thing ….AGAIN. There are questions about why his wife would stay.  She is an intelligent woman who has gone on record to say she forgives him and he is a good man.

The Two D’s in Sex Addiction Recovery

"Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality."   - Abraham Lincoln

In a previous post I have written about the two D’s in Sex Addiction:  Discovery and Disclosure.  This post will highlight the two D’s of Recovery. 

Recently, I was at my 5:15 a.m. spin class when the instructor shouted out “O.K. you got yourself here – that is the first part….now show us what you are made of!”  She talked about “the two D’s”:  Discipline and Drive.  First you have to show up, and while you are here….you must do the work and apply the energy.  These principles apply whether one wants to lose weight, plan for a triathlon, or finish an ironman.  

The Sex Addiction Cycle, The Super Bowl, and The Audi

 

During the recent Super Bowl Sunday “parade of super commercials” Audi had a commercial depicting a young man going to the Prom.  He was going to the prom alone.   In that determination to go alone he had several family members and friends taunting him with the words “no one goes to the Prom alone”.  Even his grade-school aged sister in the chorus of taunts says:  “Only losers go to the Prom alone.”  His dad offers him the key to the Audi as incentive and courage to go it alone.  The next scene flashes and we see him boisterously walking onto the stage to take the prom queen and whisk her off in the A4.  The final scene portrays the young man and the prom queen screaming in the thrill of going top speed in the A4.  The commercial ends with the slogan “Bravery.  It is what defines us.”