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Nina Laltrello's blog


The Sex Addiction Cycle, The Super Bowl, and The Audi

 

During the recent Super Bowl Sunday “parade of super commercials” Audi had a commercial depicting a young man going to the Prom.  He was going to the prom alone.   In that determination to go alone he had several family members and friends taunting him with the words “no one goes to the Prom alone”.  Even his grade-school aged sister in the chorus of taunts says:  “Only losers go to the Prom alone.”  His dad offers him the key to the Audi as incentive and courage to go it alone.  The next scene flashes and we see him boisterously walking onto the stage to take the prom queen and whisk her off in the A4.  The final scene portrays the young man and the prom queen screaming in the thrill of going top speed in the A4.  The commercial ends with the slogan “Bravery.  It is what defines us.”

The Presents of Presence in Sex Addiction Recovery

Recovery wisdom advises: Never allow yourself to get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, (HALT).  On this morning’s 6-mile run, with my run partner out of town and running on less sleep than normal, I was hitting 2 out of 4 of the precautionary directives.  If I let my mind wander to “I have to do 6 miles today” the run seemed like an impossible task.  I wanted to walk.  I wanted to slow down.  My thoughts entered the realm of “stinking thinking” and the dreaded “I can’t do this”.  Ughhh.  I was tired.  I was alone.  I didn’t have my music.  I was becoming bored.  All the tell-tale signs of the wheels falling off the bus were at-risk for coming into play. 

Rewiring Habits in Sex Addiction

 It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood 

Remember Mr. Rogers?

  He began every one of his ½ hour educational shows with the same ritual.  He would come onto the set through the same door chirping out his usual song “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood, ….”.  All the while, he would go through the same motions of taking off his tweed suit jacket, don his casual work sweater, take off his dress wing-tipped shoes, and put on his casual sneakers.  You knew what was coming.   He started each show the same way.  That ritual set the stage for that day’s show. 

Mr. Rogers was an extraordinary educator.  He knew the importance of structure for children.  Structure helps us make transitions.  Structure helps us make sense of the unknown.  As a marriage and family therapist I help parents develop routines that help children settle, feel safe, and decrease anxiety in the changes that face them as they developmentally move through time. 

The Labor Days of Sex Addiction

My running partner and I have vacationed on opposing weeks through the last half of summer.  I have missed her.  I have kept my running plan and structure, but running alone is not the same.  I love the time to think and I have continued to run.  I work hard but, as the weeks have continued on, I find myself on the slippery slope of not staying the course.  Sometimes it is hard to get out of bed in the dark to prepare for long Saturday runs.  If there is no one to be accountable to, will it hurt if I run just a little later in the morning?  Not really.  Then as the weeks have passed I have been tempted with a little later start time. What if I just sleep in?  Who would know?  Does it really matter?  I would know when I look in the mirror and see the integrity on my face in the mirror, or not.