Rewiring Habits in Sex Addiction

 It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood 

Remember Mr. Rogers?

  He began every one of his ½ hour educational shows with the same ritual.  He would come onto the set through the same door chirping out his usual song “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood, ….”.  All the while, he would go through the same motions of taking off his tweed suit jacket, don his casual work sweater, take off his dress wing-tipped shoes, and put on his casual sneakers.  You knew what was coming.   He started each show the same way.  That ritual set the stage for that day’s show. 

Mr. Rogers was an extraordinary educator.  He knew the importance of structure for children.  Structure helps us make transitions.  Structure helps us make sense of the unknown.  As a marriage and family therapist I help parents develop routines that help children settle, feel safe, and decrease anxiety in the changes that face them as they developmentally move through time. 

The Labor Days of Sex Addiction

My running partner and I have vacationed on opposing weeks through the last half of summer.  I have missed her.  I have kept my running plan and structure, but running alone is not the same.  I love the time to think and I have continued to run.  I work hard but, as the weeks have continued on, I find myself on the slippery slope of not staying the course.  Sometimes it is hard to get out of bed in the dark to prepare for long Saturday runs.  If there is no one to be accountable to, will it hurt if I run just a little later in the morning?  Not really.  Then as the weeks have passed I have been tempted with a little later start time. What if I just sleep in?  Who would know?  Does it really matter?  I would know when I look in the mirror and see the integrity on my face in the mirror, or not. 

The Murky Waters and Redemption in Sex Addiction Recovery

As I vacationed at the beach this past week, I had the opportunity to see National Geographic Explorer Photo Journalist Brian Skerry give a presentation entitled “Ocean Soul”.  Mr. Skerry drew us into his world of inspiration with a boyhood photo of himself when he was about 6 or 7 years of age.  He shared his boyhood dream when the ocean first captured his imagination.  He proceeded to tell us with words and his poignant images the oceanic world that has captivated his dreams and his life’s work which has spanned the globe with National Geographic Explorations. 

At the end of this dramatic photo story he was asked “Which photo is your favorite?” 

The Journey of Healing in Sex Addiction

“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.”

 - Voltaire

The Wizard of Oz has long been a favorite story and metaphor of life for me.  I love the many metaphors contained within the story.  The tornado delivers Dorothy into a "call" she cannot avoid.  All Time Great Support GroupThe yellow brick road is an invitation to the journey of life and discovery of the mettle contained within oneself.  Along the journey Dorothy discovers other seekers who have been stuck in fear or shame for the “things” which they do not perceive to have within themselves.  They have feelings of brokeness, a yearning for courage, and wish for a completeness of self.  There is bonding in that brokeness, support for courage,  the capacity one needs to reach beyond fear, and sustenance for the journey in finding others who struggle.