On this day I had the luxury of sitting with a cup of coffee and taking in a bit of CNN as I began my day. Dr. Sanjay Gupta was reporting his experience of giving the commencement address at his alma mater, Michigan University. I was struck by the main message he wished to convey to these graduates. His advice: “Do one thing that you fear every day and become the action hero in your own life.” Well said.
That message applies for those working on recovery, as well. Fear is to recovery as Kryptonite was to Superman. Many in recovery face actions that are fearful, yet, doing that fearful act can bring one to their own aid. Reaching out to another peer with personal struggle, calling a sponsor for aid with the craziness in one’s own head, making an amends to those whom amends are owed can all be very scary acts indeed. If you can work through the fear and take action imagine where that might lead you. The sky is the limit!
The demand for my services for the treatment of sexual addiction has grown over the past several years. Even with the increased frequency of phone contact, I do not think the pain I sense in the clients first call will ever lose its impact on my heart. For the person whose life has been plagued by secret shame and finally has the courage to make the call for help, the pain is palpable. For the spouse who has stumbled upon information of a secret life kept hidden by their partner and now questions the reality of an entire relationship, the level of pain has profound impact on this therapist.
"If you accept the pain, it cannot hurt you. The pain of making the necessary sacrifices always hurts more than you think it's going to. I know. It sucks. That being said, doing something seriously creative is one of the most amazing experiences one can have, in this or any other lifetime. If you can pull it off, it's worth it. Even if you don't end up pulling it off, you'll learn many incredible, magical, valuable things. It's NOT doing it when you know you full well you HAD the opportunity- that hurts FAR more than any failure."
- Hugh MacLeod
On my visit to San Diego, while attending the SASH conference, I took some time to be a tourist when the conference ended. My husband had a meeting at the same time close by so we made a rendezvous to enjoy some outdoor activities in the area. My wish for outdoor activities included cycling and sea lion watching. My husband was up for sea lions, but preferred to add ocean kayaking to the list of fun. With limited time we compromised by deciding on ocean kayaking that would include a trip by a peninsula that sea lions were known to inhabit.