“In my preparation for the race I am focusing on what I can influence for top performance and letting the actual result of the race come as it will." -- Ruthie Matthes
I spend a lot of time training for events in my life both personally and professionally. I am a goal oriented person. I attribute much of the achieved success I have aimed for in my life to goal setting and surrounding myself with a supportive network to achieve those goals. I have thought how similar that is to those I see who are successful in their recovery processes from addiction. Nowhere in my life is that training more evident than in the endurance sports I engage in and the circle of endurance athletes I am privileged to observe and hang with.
"To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in, and scramble through as well as we can." -Sydney Smith
D-Day. The mention of D-Day usually conjures up the invasion of the Normandy Beaches on June 6, 1944, bloody battles that ensued, and ultimately liberation from German occupation during World War II. In Sex Addiction treatment with addicts, spouses, and couples that I sit with, we sometimes refer to two D-days. The first D-Day we refer to as “Discovery Day”. The second D-Day is “Disclosure Day”.
Recently I wrote a post on the experience of teaching my daughter to ride her two-wheel bike for the first time. From my experience of being a road cyclist and watching her gain skills for balance on the bike, I noticed the parallels of cycling and recovery. In this post I want to look at the perspective of the person running behind the bike. The experience of being a parent and running behind the bike supporting my daughter with the need to let go, I am reminded of the spouse’s process necessary in the recovery process of sex addiction. Have you experienced the feeling of running behind a child, supporting the child on the bike, yet, knowing you need to let go? Do you remember the feeling the panic of the moment you knew you needed to let them go so they will find their own skill, power, and strength to continue? How can a parent let go running behind the bike knowing full well there might be hurt involved? How can a spouse stop being vigilant knowing there might be more unconscionable collateral damage? Often, the spouse has been broadsided with the discovery of the addiction and it would seem counter-intuitive to let go of vigilance now!
Do you remember the Clinton Era when current events were catalyst to anxiety-provoking conversations with our children? Conversations that we could have never imagined? Do you remember the media sound bites that pushed the envelope for further definitions of adult conversations?” I felt it was deja vous at the 93rd PGA! This past weekend John’s Creek, Georgia hosted the prestigious 93rd PGA Golf Tournament. As a Metro-Atlanta community we were excited to see people and the golfers seeking their prize come from all over the world. Most days there were 40,000-50,000 spectators in attendance. The whole event was quite a spectacle. Earlier this year the PGA President Alan Wronowski announced its junior golf initiative. He announced plans to launch the PGA Sports Academy to grow participation among junior golfers that promote fitness, nutrition, rules, etiquette, sportsmanship and life skills. The PGA promotes strong vision for family participation and growing youth in the sport. To aid the effort Junior Tickets were offered free of charge! We attended 3 of 4 days as a family.